Crazy Day Seven!!!

What a crazy two days! I have had more ups and downs than a roller coaster.  I have never known such highs and lows so quickly! By Monday afternoon I had convinced myself in my head that I never wanted to see another veggie drink again. It was more than I could take and I didn't like it anymore! My blood sugar was rock bottom and I could not be reasoned with. I wanted to eat something that was not a fruit or veggie and NOTHING else was going to make me happy. My husband said, okay I will get you whatever you want. I lashed out and said, NO that is not what you are supposed to say! So he offered to make me a smoothie and I gagged. He looked at me like I had horns growing out of my head and was like, tell me what I need to say because I don't know! I didn't know either! Part of making this commitment not only to myself but to others was the accountability I I had by sharing the good the bad and the ugly. I have had so many be so kind and so encouraging that it wasn't just about letting me down. I would let down so many. In my heart I knew I needed to be strong but my mind was week. I did eat something that was not a fruit or veggie. I will say though that I kept it healthy and didn't step out of bounds to badly. I had vegetable sushi rolls. I ate some rice along with my veggies. No soy sauce but some wasabi. 


Thank God I didn't get sick from eating it and I felt okay afterwards. I couldn't even blog because I felt like a failure. I had given in and wasn't tough enough to fight the temptation. God needed to call someone else to make this stand and share their growth on this journey. I wasn't the gal He needed. I was unable to look at the forest for all the trees. As I lay in bed trying to sleep, God began to talk to my soul. He told me that I was worthy, rice and all. We all stumble and if we were perfect, we wouldn't need to lean on Him. God doesn't want perfect. He wants the helplessly flawed. In those flaws and imperfections He can begin a new work and He will be FAITHFUL to complete it. It all projects you have setbacks. The great thing is God has already promised me that He will complete this work in me. I may stumble and my imperfection will show through. God will use that to make the next steps that much stronger. I know this is true! With every breath I take. I look back at my life and I know that it was all divinely orchestrated, each step and stumble, and each triumph and tragedy. If He has cared so much for so long, He isn't going to give up today. I am still going to be worth the trouble! Thanking God for a new day and a new determination!