Today was hard. No easy way around it. I knew the first week would be difficult and it came at me like a lion. I had activities at both of the kid's schools so I had to be out and moving around. I drank a big breakfast and took lots of water with me. By 11:00a.m. I was crashing. I don't know if it was my blood sugar or just lack of food for 2 days, but I was ill. I was in the cafeteria with my daughter and I felt like I was going to pass out. Shawn was at school with Carson so I didn't know what to do. I knew I needed something and I needed it fast. So I grabbed the apple from my daughter's sack lunch and chowed down. I had planned on only doing juice for 30 days. I was so upset with myself but then I said, you know what, I didn't grab the bag of cheetos. I ate an apple for heavens sake and that is okay!
The worst part of today has been the headaches and muscle cramps. I read online that the muscle pain is all the toxic junk that is living in my body being attacked by the good stuff I am putting in. Part of the detox. My legs hurt like I have never felt before. but I keep telling myself that it is temporary and in a few days it is going to be so different. I am struggling because I want to run to the medicine cabinet and take ibuprofen and tylenol to help with the pain. Doing that does me no good and I need to keep focused on future. Keeping my eye on the prize. The Bible tells us in Hebrews 12:1-2 to lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. Easier said than done, right? I started this for my health but God is using this for so much more. The health of my soul is being made stronger. God is showing me that I am His and His purpose for me is far greater than the life I have given to Him. Maybe, just maybe, this very struggle and this very journey is my purpose. Maybe He allowed the trials and pain to be in my life so that I can come out victorious on the other end. And maybe, share it with you.
I have heard from so many friends today since I posted the first blog post. Everyone has been so encouraging. I know I am right in deciding to share this with all of you. We all have our struggles and most of the time we just want to know that there is someone else who has struggled with the same thing. We want to know we aren't the only one plastering on that smile and going into our day acting like nothing is hurting us. I think about what a great gift it would have been for me to read about another mom who was dealing with some of the same issues. In the end we all just want to relate to each other and be accepted for who we are. That happens far to little in today's society. Thankfully, we can come just as we are to the feet of Jesus and he will love on us and tell us we have VALUE. We are a child designed in God's image and that alone makes us pretty special. God goes one step further and gives us all different gifts and abilities to use for His glory. Wow, I feel special just typing that! Man doesn't determine our value. God thinks we are more precious than all the jewels in the world. With that thought I know I can fix my eyes on Him and run this race. Maybe along the way I can show someone that they are valuable, to.
God Bless you all for your kind words today. It made a tough day so much more bearable because I knew I had people praying for me. On to day three! I can't wait to see what the Lord is going to do!
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